As usual I'm a tad bit late getting this blog out, but I spend all my time with my kiddos so that's my excuse! So as we have started the new year I've decided to reflect a little on this past year. We had lots of first and new learning challenges. Maddison turned 1 and took off running in every possible way. Growth, learning, and really running! Ethan was potty trained and for his reward got a trip to Sea World. We also began to learn all the ups and downs of having a transplant kid. We learned about germs, germs, and more germs! Ethan also celebrated his 1 year Heart Birthday!!! Caden started kindergarten and seems to really enjoy it! He also started riding the bus to and from school, which was difficult for me at first. It just shows that he's growing up and I'm not so sure I'm ready for that. To add to our hectic schedule with the kiddos we had, gymnastics, tee ball, and soccer! As for Perry and I, well we just stay busy with the kids! We've been able to get out more
and meet some wonderful new friends! Things are starting to feel more like "Home" again!
Now to 2014! I usually start the new year off with several resolutions. Always, promising that this will be the year I complete them. Unfortunately, I usually end the year disappointed in myself for not keeping those. I read a blog my cousin suggested about choosing one word to work on all year, so I'm going to embark on that journey in 2014. My one little word is TRUST! At first I struggled with what word to use, but one Sunday during church it hit me and I knew what God wanted me to work on. I think one of my biggest down falls is that I don't always trust God to take care of things. I want to use my human hands and have control. Unfortunately, we cannot control what happens in our lives, because it's all apart of God's plan. I worry constantly every day about what is going to happen with my family in the next several months. I learned first hand back when Ethan got so sick that our plans don't always work with God's big picture. Lots of times I worry about the upcoming years, how long until we are back in the hospital with heart issues or what if I
lose one of my sweet kiddos. I want to have those memories of watching them graduate, go to college, get married, have my grand babies, but am I guaranteed that will happen? No! However, I do have the guarantee that God does have a plan and he is in control. But why does that seem so hard for me? This past month at church our pastor has been talking about Knowing God's Will. How coincidental, right? The crazy thing is some of what has been preached at church also goes along with my daily devotions this month from Jesus Calling on Trust. Hmm... think God is trying to tell me something! Anyways, one of the things that I've had a hard time trying to handle is, just because God has a plan and we trust in him and do everything right, doesn't mean the outcome is going to be 
what we want. Again, it's all about God's plan! In 2013 I saw lots of wonderful things but I also witnessed some very hard emotional things. I watched a couple of dear friends lose their sweet babies before they had a chance to take their first real breathe. I saw divorce, cancer, horrible accidents, loved ones lost. These things happened to those people that had done nothing but trust in God and live their lives according to his Word. How can that happen? One of the difficult things about being part of the Heart Families is that you start to learn other peoples stories. Every Heart Child has a different path and different outcome. As you start these bonds with other parents you see how many small things could go wrong. Sometimes these things result in death or hospitalizations. We pray for those families and hurt with them because that could be one of our kiddos. Then I get into protective mother mode and try my best to make sure something like that doesn't happen to one of my kiddos. Unfortunately, once again I'm reminded that I can't do that! And then I hear, "TRUST ME, by relinquishing control into MY hands. Let go, and recognize that I am God."
So as we being 2014 I'm going to TRUST! Not going to lie but this has not been easy so far and probably won't be but I'm going to pray and read the Word to TRUST. Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth! - Psalm 46:10
For we walk by faith, not by sight. - 2 Corinthians 5:7
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? - Psalm 56:3-4
